Already not ready but something
by FlawlessCaskett
Summary: Kate Beckett didn't know, what she did to herself by saying these things to him after spending hours cuffed together. "If I ever have to spend a night handcuffed to someone again, I wouldn't mind if it was you either." she had admitted. "Next time, lets do it without the tiger." she had teased. One-shot (not anymore) set after Cuffed.
1. Already not ready but something

**Title: Already not ready but something**

**Author: FlawlessCaskett**

**Summary: Kate Beckett didn't know, what she did to herself by saying these things to him after spending hours cuffed together. "If I ever have to spend a night handcuffed to someone again, I wouldn't mind if it was you either." she had admitted. "Next time, lets do it without the tiger." she had teased.**

**Set somewhere after Cuffed. **

**Rating: M **

**Spoilers: A little 4x10 Cuffed.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, everything except the idea for this story belongs to Andrew W. Marlowe and abc.**

**A/N: Well, this came to my mind, and I needed to get it out. Uhm, it turned out to be a little angsty, but read it yourself. Reviews are always welcome :)**

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Already not ready but something

Kate Beckett didn't know, what she did to herself by saying these things to him after spending hours cuffed together. "If I ever have to spend a night handcuffed to someone again, I wouldn't mind if it was you either." she had admitted. "Next time, lets do it without the tiger." she had teased. If him or her, she couldn't even tell anymore. Actually, she wasn't able to tell anything anymore, because every time she tried thinking of something else, these images returned to her mind. Richard Castle handcuffed to her bed, naked beneath her, helplessly exposed to her dextrous hands. She saw them pressed together so tightly, that not even a piece of paper could slip between their heated bodies and if it would fit, it would stick there, because their skin was covered in sweat.

These pictures needed to disappear, Beckett desperately wanted them to, so that she finally would be able to look at her ruggedly handsome partner again without getting too aroused to work properly, to be in the same room with him, the same building, city or country. The sole knowledge of his presence caused her to shiver, every touch turned her into a puddle of want and need. She still felt his strong hands lifting her shirt, running over her back just a second too long to be all accidentally. Something needed to happen. Soon. Before she went all insane. If she wasn't already.

And Kate knew very well what that something was. But she also knew what would come along with it. She wasn't ready for that. The whole Richard Castle package. With a family she secretly already belonged to, with a partner she already had, with a place she already lived in (and moved out again).  
Although everything seemed to be there already, she was scared. To drown in it. To lose herself in it. In him. She loved him. Deep inside herself, she felt that familiar thing, she'd only experienced once or twice in her life. But love wasn't enough. Not yet. She needed closure. For her mother. Otherwise sooner or later she'd screw it up. If she hadn't already. He waited. Patiently for her to heal, three months and three years before that. She hoped he'd go on. That he wouldn't give up on her. It would kill her to lose him.

Something else was killing her too. _That _something. Her heart and her head weren't ready, her body, however, was. For months, for years. If she was being honest with herself, she already wanted him that first time they parted, thinking they weren't going to see each other again. (At least she thought that they weren't going to see each other again. He probably knew they would.) "You have no idea" she had told him. She didn't have any idea as well. Of how hard it would be to resist him. It got even harder as time passed, as they got closer, got partners, real partners, friends, good friends.

All that unreleased tension was driving her nuts. Left her arching. For his looks. His lips. On hers. His hands. On her body. These hands. And lips. On her body. How good they would feel. Once they got to discover her. Finally. These hands. Undressing her. Slowly. Or not. Passionate maybe. (Definitely). Like his eyes did. Every time he thought she wasn't looking. And when he knew she was. Because he knew she liked it. Although she'd never admit to it. It was Beckett after all.

And she wouldn't be Beckett, if she didn't come up with a solution. _Just do it. Once. _she told herself. Once and not again until she was ready to give him what he deserved. What they deserved. _It's so easy. _she tried to convince herself. _He will understand. And he will do it._ she was sure. He wanted her as much as she wanted him. And he was Castle after all, the man that once slept with woman to support his living.

The more Kate thought about it, the more she wanted that idea to be reality. The less of the consequences were running through her head. Then the imagination got clearer. Suddenly, she knew how to do it. No risk. Just this one time. The sexual tension would be gone afterwards.

Her apartment was dark. Completely. Not one beam of light fell through the carefully curtained windows. Kate Beckett was sitting on her bed. Waiting for him. She knew he would come. She had sent him a text with the instructions:

_My place. 10 pm. The door will be open. I will be waiting in the bedroom. One time. No light. One night. No talking. One night to break the tension. No morning after. Please, Castle. Give that to me. And then we'll wait together. For the day I'm ready for us. _

(She cried after she wrote this. Not much. Just a few tears running down her face.)  
She knew he would come.

And he did. He was there on time. Not a minute late. The front door closes with a click.

"Kate?" she heard his voice, rough and insecure, when he entered her bedroom.

Feeling the heat radiating from his body, she was able spot him accurately. Having a perfect picture of him in her head, she knew exactly, where his lips were.  
She lifted her right hand, placed her fingers on his mouth.

"Shh, no talking. Please." she whispered.

Then her lips replaced the fingers, kissing him softly. A moan escaped him. She swallowed it with pleasure.

He was there. For her.

Kate cupped his cheeks with both hands whereas his wandered. Down her back coming to rest heavily on her waist.

She missed his kiss. He missed it too, she could tell, although he was hesitating, obviously still not sure what to think of this whole situation.

There was nothing to _think_ of this. There were things to be _felt_. This was their moment. Their night. Their release. Nothing more. Nothing less.

The first buttons of his shirt were already opened by her swift fingers, never losing contact with his mouth. Delicately biting his lower lip, her hands went further down, taking the shirt with them.  
She didn't need to see him. She knew he looked good in it, she knew he looked even better without it.

Dancing tongues, exploring hands.

Castle's hands came up to tangle in her hair just to leave it seconds later to lift the hem of her top touching every inch of bare skin they could find, not sure where to move first.

The kiss broke, both of them gasping for air, her lips starting to follow the line of his jaw, teeth nibbling on the soft flesh of his neck, then going further down, placing small open mouthed kisses on his chest.

Before she realized it, her shirt was gone, so were her yoga pants. She sat down on the edge of her bed to open his belt, the button and zipper of his jeans. Her mouth closed over his belly button while her hands slid down his trousers and boxers which he stepped out of as soon as they hit the floor.  
Castle gave her a carefull shove so she came to lay down on her back, he then pushed her up so they both reached the middle of her bed.

It almost destroyed her, how tentative he was, how cautious, how patient. She needed him. That was why she asked him over in the first place. To satisfy that desperate need seething low in her abdomen, to take the tension away, not to build up more.

One hand opening the clasp of her bra, the other one went down her body, running over her soft curves. Beckett's bra hit the floor and soon she felt his tongue trailing a wet line down her chest, leaving random kisses sometimes, until he reached the part of her, that arched for his touch the most. Her panties followed the rest of their clothing on the floor and then his hands were back on her. Fingers running over her most vulnerable point.

A moan rose deep in her throat when he slipped his middle finger in her wet heat, her breathing getting unsteady and shallow. When his lips met her clit she immediately stumbled over the edge, her orgasm shaking her whole body. She was waiting for this too long. Too damn long.

Castle tasted of her, when their lips joined together again, sinking into a rough kiss with loads of teeth and tongue, she bit his at some point, she only noticed when the metal flavour of blood mixed with hers.

His erection was hard and hot in her small hands, the silky flesh pulsing under her touch, as she slowly stroked him. Castle groaned next to her ear, where he was busy biting her lobe and soothing the wonderful pain away with his tongue. Later she won't be able to remember how she knew, but she could tell, when he was close, so she decided, that it was time. For the finale. For now. She led him to her entrance, a muffled scream escaping her mouth as he trusted up in her tightness. He flipped them around and sat, changing the angle of the movement, drawing anew moans and sighs from both their lips. They held each other close, so close, just as Kate had imagined and yet completely new in its intensity. They held onto each other, as if they were drowning, each other being the only way of getting to the shore alive.

When they got even closer than they already were, their rhythm sped up, their hips rushing into the others. They came in unison. The exact same moment. Both of them had never experienced something so intense before in their lives, he fell back, pulling her with him.

Lying there with him, clutched together so tightly, Kate thought about asking him to stay. The urge lasted for an instant. But then she reminded herself, that there was no going back if she did. It would ruin her deliberately build up construction. So she kissed him one last time before getting up and walking towards her bathroom. As she stood at the threshold of her bedroom, she turned, speaking in his direction, voice low and almost breaking.  
"Thank you."

When she came back from her shower, he was gone. As she wished. As she wished she didn't wish. She cried. The second time this evening. She thought it would be easier now. Instead, there was a big emptiness surrounding her. From the outside and inside. She cried a lot.  
Until her eyes were swollen and red, until she everything she wanted to was to be ready already.

For once. For him. Forever.


	2. Because maybe it's better this way

**A/N: So, I really planned to leave it as a one shot, but since so many of you asked me to continue it and I'm always willing to meet my readers interests, I decided on a little sequel, that actually isn't finished yet, but I wanted to give you something, so just let me know if you want me to continue.**

**Thanks for your positive reviews and for reading and liking and stuff. So, have fun :)**

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Because maybe it's better this way

When Kate Beckett arrived at the crime scene the next morning, everyone could see that something was wrong with her. Big sunglasses were covering the dark shadows under her eyes. She told the boys she had a headache, but when she asked them to call Castle to the scene they were able to narrow the root of her strange appearance and behaviour down to him. (She never let someone else call him.) None of them said so anyway, of course. They were working with Beckett long enough to keep their mouths shut, when it came to personal stuff that included Castle. And she was secretly grateful for that.

Walking away over to Lanie she could hear Esposito say to Ryan: "Yo, bro, don't look so miserable, just because mom and dad had a fight doesn't mean they don't love us anymore." She couldn't even smile at that. A fight. They had no idea.

Castle appeared at the scene just when they were about to head back to the precinct. He asked the boys to give him a ride. (Not her.)

Coming in, the first thing she saw was the coffee waiting on her table, her eyes immediately scanned the room for Castle, finding him filling the murder board with information on their victim. She smiled at that.

The next few days flew by with the two of them basically dancing around each other, desperately trying to avoid any eye contact or physical interaction. She knew that sometimes when he pretended to play one of his childish games on his phone, he read her text instead. His eyes would get darker and she could make out all the feelings ranging from deep hurt to pure lust and love. (The latter were carefully hidden behind the pain.)

It were these moments, when she was glad, that she had insisted on the darkness filling her apartment. Although she would have liked to see his face, to see the reactions she caused. Kate knew it was better this way. Because there were no pictures to appear in her head. She was glad she had decided on the no talking rule. Because so everything that remained were their moans echoing in her ears, that could have belonged to anyone (They couldn't. And didn't), not her sighed name falling from his lips or even worse beautiful compliments and heart warming love confessions. It made it easier to convince herself, that it didn't happen. She also hoped it made things less difficult to handle for Castle as well. The last ting she wanted was hurting him and yet she was bitterly aware the pain she'd caused must've been unbearable, that he was completely messed up about this, maybe even more than she.

She silently begged him to go on waiting for her anyway, because the bare thought of him moving on and leaving her behind caused her heart to ache more than the gunshot that ripped it apart. She tried her best convincing herself that the situation wasn't destroying him. Her. Them. Maybe too much to ever be fixed again. And it worked. Kind of.

They never talked about it. Weeks passed and slowly things seemed to return to some awkward normality. Maybe there was the possibility to just go on that way. To keep things casual and on a friendship basis. Maybe they didn't need the full package, maybe it was enough like this, maybe they were enough. (She knew that maybe wasn't an option.)

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Kate had always had a thing for his hands, big and strong, spreading the impression of safety and comfort, and yet oddly clumsy. Those hands that wrote her through her hardest times, with their beautiful words that inspired her, encouraged her to carry on, that kept her thinking that doing what she did was right.  
But then one night some weeks later, their meaning for her changed. And with them their relationship. Again.

The team was in the middle of a particularly tough case (especially for her) that just didn't reveal anything but dead ends. The woman had been a mother leaving behind a 19-year old daughter, and a wife leaving behind a grieving husband.  
Sitting there in front of the murder board with Castle, she finally buried her face in one of her palms, the other hand resting on the table behind her. It had been a long day.

And then she felt it, a soft brush of his fingertips over the back of her hand, drawing slow circles that sent a shiver through her body. Their fingers interlaced like it was the most natural thing in the world between two people who had probably the most indefinable partnership ever. He squeezed her hand, the little gesture saying everything she needed to hear. ("I know. I'm here. Always.") A familiar warmth settled in her stomach, and then suddenly she took the hand of her face and reached for a piece of paper. "How did I miss this? It was here in front of us the whole time. I know who the killer is!" (She didn't realize the ambiguity of her first words.)

Beckett looked up at him and saw a small smile framing the corners of his mouth, but at the same time felt his hand withdrawing from hers. So she tightened her grip and kept him in place while telling him what she'd figured out. (That touch was the least she could give him.) It wasn't until Ryan walked towards them that they parted, just soon enough to go unnoticed.

Starting from that day, it kind of became a thing between them. Sitting in the back of a cab they shared on the way home (to their separate places) or standing next to each other in the otherwise empty elevator or reaching over the table when having lunch, their hands somehow always ended up joined together. Of course so that nobody would ever catch them.

And they never talked about it. It was like an unspoken rule they both knew was needed to keep it as it was, simple and uncomplicated and yet the anchor they needed to not lose themselves in the floods of selfdenials and unresolved problems. _Maybe,_ she thought, _maybe it can stay that way._ She loved that little sign, that they were still there, that nothing had changed between them although everything had. She enjoyed the feeling of his hand delicately caressing her own. It reassured her on days she just seemed to lose control, kept her grounded. They never talked about it. Two things to go.

* * *

Actually, it was some kind of accident, that first kiss after their _something._ They were staying late at the precinct, no one else around anymore. Castle had ordered Chinese takeout (Her favourite. What else?) and they were talking about the case, nothing unusual despite the fact that their victim was a well known judge, a case that needed closure as fast as possible because Gates needed something she could tell the major, highest priority. Beckett had sent the boys home to get some sleep after working three days, promising them to call if anything popped.

Before she knew it, his thumb was brushing her lower lip, taking some sauce that was left there with it. "Oh... ahm... thank you", she had whispered against the soft touch. It was a complete accident. Her body had betrayed her. If he just wouldn't have smelled that good and looked that nice in his dark blue T-shirt and the little smile on his face lighting up his eyes the way she liked it. So what if she kissed him. It was nothing, really. Just a short collision of their mouths, her tongue only briefly running over his bottom lip, barely long enough to taste the sweet and sour sauce, let alone to mean anything. (She knew it did.) She drew away as fast as she came, hearing a little noise by the cleaner that pulled her back to reality.


	3. With a little help from my friends

**A/N: And again, thank you so much for reading and liking and following and of course all the nice reviews, they light up my days and lonely nights, keep up with that stuff! You kind of talked me into liking the story, so I can't even tell you, how long this is going to go on. Definitely one or two chapters. Just tell me if you're still interested in reading more (Well, yeah, there you go, extortion tactic...) But first of all have fun! :)**

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With a little help from my friends...

To her surprise it wasn't awkward. They shared a short glance, assuring each other that what just happened was okay. But still nothing she wanted or could talk about right now. So she decided to end their day for a fresh start the next morning. "You want a ride?" Kate offered him with a friendly smile on her lips.

"Sure." was all she got back, after he had mentally recovered.

When she stopped the car in front of his building, Beckett turned around to face him, her eyes fixing on his. "Well, thanks for the lift.", Castle finally said to break their staring contest, "See you tomorrow?"

Kate slowly nodded a "Yes." and again waited for him to do something. The soft brush of his lips on her cheek caught her off-guard and before she was able to react somehow, he was gone, opening the door and stepping out. His hand lifting to wave a short good-bye, he made his way over to his building, leaving her unsure about what to thing of the whole situation, they managed to get into. A small smile formed on her face at how easy it seemed to be. To extend their hand holding thing to a kiss thing.

And it was. She never imagined something like that actually being possible, but that friendship with benefits was definitely an arrangement she could get used to.  
Because it gave her the opportunity to enjoy his presence as a friend, to have some physical contact and to avoid thoughts about how things were going to go on. To just keep pretending.  
It happened again. And again. And again they never talked about their secret encounters. Sometimes it were only little kisses ont the other one's cheek as a hello or good-bye, when nobody else was around. Sometimes it were heated collisions of lips and teeth and tongues. And then there were the tentative, delicate ones that seemed to freeze time for seconds or minutes or hours, they were rarely able to tell.

They liked kissing each other. They really did. The odd part was that it never contained any kind of further intention than just feeling the other's lips on their own. None of them made a move to turn their kiss into _something_ again. She couldn't tell why.  
And again she found herself wondering. _Maybe. Maybe we can just leave it that way. _Kissing him was good. They both knew it wouldn't lead anywhere. They stopped every time they felt things were... _affecting _one of them too much. _Maybe,_ she thought, _we can go on that way._

And maybe they would have, if it wasn't for some random medical examiner that happened to be Kate's best friend. Lanie got curious seeing the two of them standing closer together than they used to. (And she was right. After Beckett got a text from her saying she got into a traffic jam and going to be late, and since there wasn't anyone else around in the morgue, they had used the spare time to go on some lip exploring excursion together. All in the name of science of course.)  
When Castle excused himself to the restroom, she took a more careful look at her detective friend.  
And then she discovered it: " Girl, you better tell me what's going on, you look kissed!"  
A second after she uttered that, it hit her: "You kissed Castle!"

The ME's face got all excited, but then she got a reaction she didn't expect at all.  
"Yeah, where's the problem?" It sounded almost defiant and so totally bad-ass-Beckett like.

"Where's the problem? You're saying this so casually, someone hearing you talk like that could easily thing you're doing this on a regular basis." She answered sarcastically. When she didn't get an indignant "No, of course not!" as a reply from Kate, her eyes widened dangerously, nearly dropping out of her head. "Oh my God, you _are_ doing this on a regular basis! That girl right in front of me makes out with her shadow slash partner slash whatever and doesn't even see the slightest necessity of telling her best friend!"

"Because there is nothing more to tell."  
Beckett didn't even try to deny it, Lanie would have gotten it our of her anyway, the sparkle in her eyes gave her away almost as much as the smile playing around the corners of her mouth. She was kind of glad that it was out though.

"Kate Beckett, don't you dare trying to make a fool of me! You don't just kiss Richard Castle whenever you feel like it without a meaning behind it. Not you, control freak, who plans every step of her life and does nothing without a reason. You're not the kind of woman doing things like that for fun." As much as Lanie was happy hearing that her personal real life OTP finally made it closer to bed, she was both concerned and angry about Beckett.

"What if I don't want to think about it anymore? What if I just want to do it? I want to be more than I am. For him, for me. And until I get to that point I'm going to enjoy what we have. Because for once it isn't complicated. Everything is easy, it isn't too much." Her voice lost all traces of complacency and was left bare and rough and so unsteady it almost broke away.

"Well then ask yourself this: Is it enough? Kate, you know, I'm the last person to deny you some fun, I'm the one to urge you, but not when it comes to risk such strong emotional ties as you and Castle have. And you clearly have something more than fun. Do you think he is okay with this situation?" Lanie's face got soft, her words were warm and comforting but unbearably direct and honest all at once.

Kate's gaze dropped to her hands, her fingers twiddling nervously. She thought for an instant. "He never said anything..."

"Maybe he knows you don't want to hear it?!"

"'Don't ruin my story with you logic.'" She smiled, the image of Castle spinning his tales with joy lighting up his face coming to her mind. Funny, how it's the little things that drive you crazy but make you love a person all the same. "That's something he always tells me, when I refute one of his silly theories with evidence. Lanie, I don't want to be rational anymore. I want to give in, really. But I'm not ready."

"You sure? Because to me it sounds a lot like you are talking yourself into being not. Talk to him. Go get yourself the writer boy. You deserve it. Both of you."

Castle choses that moment to come back from the toilet. "So, what did I miss?" And there it was, that boyish grin, showing his excitement.


	4. Moving in the same direction

**A/N: Dearest readers, if you read this from the beginning, thanks for being patient with me taking so long to update, if you just started, welcome and enjoy. As always I'm grateful for every review, like, follow, hell yeah, for every click! Hope you're having fun with this chapter!**

Moving in the same direction

She had planned to talk to him. Or better let him talk. But for once in his life, Richard Castle was wise enough to keep his mouth shut. To say nothing and let her take the lead. He didn't go anywhere she didn't took him on her own. Again they ended up with their lips joined together instead of discussing the matter. He had just looked at her, waiting for her next action, so she gave him some action. One of her hands grabbed his collar and pulled him close, while the other one was firmly resting on his neck, trying to erase the last distance between them. Her teeth nibbling at his lower lip as his tongue found its way over her upper one.

Standing there in front of her building (He honestly just wanted to drop her of at her place.), she couldn't think straight, her whole world spinning around him. Him and his gorgeous mouth on hers. So soft and gentle and yet passionate and impetuous. Discovering her mouth with talented twists of his tongue, taking her breath away.

Some time that felt like hours passed, before she was able to clear her mind a bit and her lungs reminded her, that oxygen might be more vital than his kiss. (Although the rest of her body had a few quite convincing arguments against that.) She quickly drew in the fresh air, her eyes searching his, focussing on them, almost losing herself in his gaze. Almost. Kate saw the thoughts running through his head.

"Castle..."

Apparently being back in reality, he looked a bit disoriented and didn't manage to get out more than a "What?"

"Say it."

"What?"

"Stop saying _what_ and get it out already!" Beckett immediately recognized her words, pictures of them handcuffed together, of her teasing him about it, of the feelings that had caused her and finally of their _something_, that had led to their complicated situation in the first place, playing in a time-lapse in her brain.

Damn the talent of a woman in love to associate everything with the object of her desire.  
Literally _everything _seemed to remind her of him or moments they shared. Starting with obvious things like his books or coffee over hearing the words "CIA" or "alien abduction" to sentences they once said to each other like this very one. Stupid brain. Stupid, stupid brain, that made everything so complicated by dwelling on the exact same thoughts fo so long, that they were nearly drowning her, that they were preventing her from figuring anything out.

"I'm sorry, but _what_?" Castle sounded even more confused than before, fairly slowed in the uptake by their kiss.

"Everything. There must be something you want to say about... everything. You always have something to say. So just... _say_ it." It came out more annoyed and insecure at the same time, than she had wanted it to, but Kate didn't know how to start the conversation they inevitably had to have, although she wasn't sure about the outcome at all.

"Well... I... thought my... point was pretty clear?!"

She had to admit, that was something she hadn't considered yet. Thinking about it, she realized, that he was unquestionably not the big X in their relationship. He was the constant. She was the variable. Ever since the shooting, Castle had never let her doubt his feelings and intentions. He had laid out his heart for her to read (all the beautiful words he had written her), while she kept hers under tight wraps, careful not to let him touch too much. (He had anyway.)

Her hand reached out to lie on his cheek, slowly caressing it, before she was even aware she had moved. "I'm so sorry, Castle. This... everything, it's my fault. And I was too busy hiding behind my walls to really notice, how much I must've hurt you..."

Their foreheads resting against each other, a few tears left her eyes, rolling down her face, pooling on her lips. He kissed them away, so tentative and delicate, the love being transferred by the small contact almost ripping her apart.

"It's okay. You're here. We're here. Together. I'm ready for it if you are." Castle slightly turned his head to kiss her palm still cupping his face, closing his eyes and leaning into her touch. Smiled.

Unsteady breaths escaped her lips as the meaning of this settled in her belly and set free a horde of butterflies. "You know, I'm still broken. I still haven't put myself back together completely.", she said, voice fragile and faint.

"I know. But I'm willing to do everything to find the missing pieces."

"What if I mess this up? I don't want to mess this up."

"Me neither." A whisper. "Let's not mess it up together?" A question. "And now kiss me, for god's sake." A demand. She eagerly was obeying. The kiss. A promise.

Kissing him had always felt good. But it felt even better now that it wasn't to stay where they were, to bridge the waiting anymore. Now that it was to take the first steps into the same direction together, into their future. They were finally moving. Got in motion while the rest of the world stopped around them.

"May I invite you upstairs?" The teasing tone was back, assuring him and maybe her as well, that being together wasn't going to change much. If anything at all.

"If I get to see you this time."

"We'll _see_..." A grin curling up the corners of her mouth, Kate took his hand, leading the way to the door of her building. And then it widened a little more as their fingers interlaced, the familiarity of it making her shake her head about how ridiculous she had been. She really, _really_ thought that she would be able to keep their relationship at hand-holding. Ridiculous.

He was about to press her up against the barely even closed door of her apartment, when she wiggled out of his embrace, stepping over to the windows of her living room to push the curtains apart, to let the light in and erase the darkness of their first time.

Then she went back to wrap her long arms around his neck, his strong hands coming to rest on her waist.

"Better?" she asked, joy filling her voice.

"Better. I would like to do a few more adjustments though."

"So? And that would be which?"

"First of all, getting rid of some of that totally overrated clothing." With that his fingers started unbuttoning her white shirt, one of those he loved seeing on her in the precinct but now silently cursed, because they were a hell of a detour on his way to get her skin under his hands.  
Kate mirrored his actions by undoing the buttons of his shirt for her part, while leaning in to lock their mouths again. Just before they did, she sighed a "I think that can be arranged.", which he swallowed as his lips crashed down on hers, rougher this time.

They somehow managed to get their shirts shoved down from the others shoulders without knotting their arms, so that they were able to pull each other closer, to make the long missed skin contact, they were both waiting for since their night some weeks earlier.

Rocking her hips against his, she directed him towards her bedroom, never losing the connection with his wet mouth, that was now kissing a trail over her jaw, teeth nibbling at the soft flesh. She giggled as he reached the thicklish spot where her shoulder met her neck, and she wondered, when she started giggling. Castle made her discover a whole new side of her, what made her love him even more.

Coming to lie down on her bed, every kind of rush they might have felt some seconds ago was gone and they took their time to just admire the view of the others half undressed body, a wave of heat running through them in anticipation of what was going to come next.

"You know why I didn't want you to follow me around in the beginning?" Pressed out between light kisses on his chest, he felt the words before they even reached his ears.

"Because you found me annoying. Childish."

"Yeah, that too and immature and arrogant..." she started, interrupted by a supposedly indignant "Hey!", then went on with: "But mainly because I knew, that we eventually would end up right here."  
It wasn't the first time she got aware of how inevitable they were, although she wouldn't have admitted it before.

Another row of open mouthed kisses found its way over his broad upper body, her tongue leaving a wet line, her hot breath brushing over it causing him to shiver.

"And that would have been bad because...?"

"Because I knew you would most definitely get me to fall in love with you afterwards. And you had quite a reputation, you know?"

"Well, I will do my best to convince you, that you don't have to worry about me seeing any other women ever again. Because from now on I am exclusively _your_ writer-boy." The smile on his face couldn't possibly get any bigger as well as the astonishment over her sudden open honesty.

"Appreciate that one", she murmured into the curve of his neck, before bringing her lips back to his, hands flatly spread across his shoulders, tongue dancing with his, exploring, deeply tasting and just feeling. Finally allowing herself to. She was so glad she did.


	5. Finally

**A/N: So, finally (fitting the title of that last chapter ;)) I was able to finish this last part, I have to say that I kinda had to drag myself through it... I hope it isn't noticable in the result...**

**Well, as always have fun!**

**Thanks again for all the positive feedback, I'm already working on my next little stories, so look out :)**

**xo**

Finally

She wasn't such a mess as last time. At least not the same kind of mess. Last time Kate was emotionally totally unhinged. Today, she was a mess as well. But a beautiful mess of finally released feelings. All the love and want and desire set free for him to see. She put no effort in hiding her wide smile or the giggles and moans escaping her lips, as he touched her, his hands seeming to be everywhere and nowhere, mapping her body as if to memorize her curves to form a sculpture of her afterwards.

Opening the button of her jeans, Castle followed the trail of his hands placing small kisses on her hot skin that made her arch her back, pushing herself further up into his soft touches. Words tumbled out of his mouth, she didn't understand them clearly, felt their vibration on her stomach spreading through her body more than hearing them. She was pretty sure, that they were wonderful, like always though. And they were solely for her. His words for her. The imagery was nice. She fell in love with his words. He wrote his words about her. She fell in love with him. He wrote his words for her. Because he fell in love with her.

Castle's lips finally met the hem of her now bared panties, catching it with his teeth and letting it snap back playfully. Her laughter filled his ears, her bedroom, his heart. Their world.

Letting her fingers grip some strands of his hair, she gently caressed his scalp without being aware that she slightly guided his head southwards. He was more than happy to obey her silent plea, hooking his thumbs in her underwear, pulling it down her gorgeously long legs.

When his hot breath brushed over her, she drew in a sharp gasp, her arousal glistening obvious between her now parted legs. The groan leaving his throat at her sight encouraged her to push his head towards her center, aching for release. Kate cried out as his lips eventually connected with her, heart beating unsteadily as his tongue darted out to lightly circle her clit.

"Oh Castle! Do... Don't stop... I... ahhh!"

He smiled against her, one of his hands running up and down her body while the other one was busy joining his mouth on her.

"Mhhhmmm, so good" Softly mumbling his words into her, he slipped one finger through her folds, before slowly entering her. So deliciously slow. He tortured her with her own pleasure, teasing until she couldn't take it anymore. He wanted her to beg. She _did_ beg.

"Please, Castle, please, now, I need you... you to..."

Lifting his head from between her thighs, he looked up at her, boyish grin spread wide across his face: "Need me to _what_?"

Kate Beckett might sill kill him later for that, but right now she was not capable of waiting any longer, so she hissed: "Make me come."

Seeming to be satisfied with her answer, he disappeared again, and when he closed his mouth around her the same moment two of his digits slipped inside her, the first spasms made her walls clench around them. Castle let her ride out her orgasm on his hand, until she caught her breath again.

"You know, you're gonna pay for that." came pressed between her still heavy gasps.

"Pay for what?"

"Oh don't think you get away with making me beg!"

"What? Don't I get some credit for making you scream with pleasure?"

Kate slapped him on the shoulder for being so cheeky, failing not to smile at the puppy dog eyes he gave her. "Can't you at least try to be an adult sometimes?" It wasn't half as serious as she intended it to sound, but he wouldn't have cared anyway.

"Come on, Beckett, I know you like it!" The smugness in his voice made her roll her eyes, the way _he _liked it and so he closed the distance to her mouth and captured it with an affectionate kiss.

"I may forgive you this one time..." she said, pretending to think about it intensely. "Well, maybe I can find a way to make it up to you?" he responded, his lips already travelling over her jaw to her neck again.

"Sounds good to me."

Roaming her hands around over his body, she left a trail of goosebumps on his skin, the small hairs on the back of his neck raising.

Flipping them around so she straddled him, Kate kissed his chest, mouth closing around his nipples, causing him to groan deeply. His grip on her waist tightened, when she gently bit down, soothing the sweet pain away with her tongue.

"Kate..." Her name more a hiss than a spoken word on his lips. "Kate, I need you... so very much."

"I know." She knew. That he didn't just mean sexual release, but that he actually needed her. He needed her, like he never needed anything or anyone before in his life. And she hoped. That he also knew. Knew that he meant as much to her as she to him.

When she sank down on him, her inner muscles contracting around him, they both cried out in unison, giving a voice to the sensations filling them. Crushing their mouths together again, they simultaneously sped up their rhythm, extending their pleasure by changing the angle, so that she now lay flatly spread across his body.

With every stroke both of them got closer, their moves getting frantic and sloppy. The noises escaping her when she fell apart in his arms took him with her over the edge.

Castle held her close to him, firmly pressed her against his chest and breathed in her scent. Cherries and sex and _her_. Her head rested on his shoulder, a wave of safety and comfort and just _home _surrounding her. She never wanted to leave this place, wanted to stay in his embrace forever.

Kate Beckett finally found her spot. And someone to stand with her.


End file.
